
Catherine Garratt & Jennifer Ferrigno
Again, everyone was warned. It’s a visual age. If your organization doesn’t have pictures of your performance available, then I’m forced to make them myself. The results aren’t nearly so pretty.
***
Perpetually single, people often ask what qualities I’m looking for in a girl. A difficult and stressful question. Ever-evolving, I’ve got to rethink it every time. It’s not like I keep a “must have” list on my wall.
Curiously, whatever I say first always ends up seeming superficial and unimportant. Good hair? No, that’s not really it.
But if I skip right to the real answers, it comes across as evasive. Compatibility? Magic? A good sense of humor? What does that even mean?
In college, my non-linear path started out in engineering and ended up in philosophy. Along the way, I took what might’ve been the single most interesting and useful class of my undergraduate experience: Mate Selection & Marital Relations. Obviously elective, the class was all about dating and relationships. If I could remember the teacher’s name, I’d compliment him here.
One of the lessons that stuck was that people are drawn to mates like themselves. We may say that opposites attract, but that’s not how it generally works out. People tend to be attracted to others of similar looks, social status, intellect, and world view. Since I’m still single, this must mean I’m fairly unique, right? (Just like everybody else.)
“No one I think is in my tree. I mean it must be high or low.” – Strawberry Fields Forever
So that’s the fundamental problem with asking about someone’s potential mate: You’re indirectly asking for an intimate, personal self-assessment.
- Who are you looking for? A nice, quiet Christian girl.
- Who are you looking for? I dunno, but she’s got to be hot.
- Who are you looking for? A friendly girl with a big smile.
- Who are you looking for? Women that have their stuff together.
- Who are you looking for? Somebody amaaaazing.

Nukri Mamistvalov & Tatiana Ledovskikh (two names that are fun to type)
In choosing other people, you’re inadvertently revealing a lot about yourself.
So let’s swing this discussion around to the Alabama Ballet. I went and saw their recent @ Home performance. It’s still probably my favorite ballet event in Birmingham because the audience gets to watch and listen to the dancers from right up close. They performed three pieces: Lilac Garden, the Swan Lake Act II Pas de Deux, and Be Major (by Roger Van Fleteren).
I’m always hoping this group expands, but my favorite two dancers at the Alabama Ballet are still Jennifer Ferrigno and Catherine Garratt. I know embarrassingly little about the technical side of dance, but I do know that these two seem to have mastered the technical stuff well enough to focus on the qualities that I’m more likely to watch for: an apparent warmth along with emotion and expressiveness. Beautiful is more than just a smile.
Here’s where I tie a nice, neat bow: I think those choices may reveal more about me than they do about the Ballet. I’m an unusually expressive guy. I think I’m pretty good at getting a point across even if (God forbid) I had to do it without using language. I’m also sensitive to subtle changes in other people’s affect and mood. I’d be pretty decent at charades or Pictionary. So of course I’m attuned to similar qualities in the artists and art I like. What I’m not so good at in my real life – or at least it’s something I have to work at – is technical protocol and perfection. Remembering to “point my toes” and “maintain my lines”, so to speak. But that, I’m not so good at.
I’ve visited the Alabama Ballet with other people, though, and they will regularly pick out other dancers as their favorites. For example, I can remember breathless and enthusiastic compliments on both Lindsey Sara Barber and Tatiana Ledovskikh. So it’s not like I’ve got any monopoly on taste. I remember one visit where my date talked about watching a dancer’s hands the whole time. That’s just not something I would think to do. It makes me wonder what focusing on hands (or feet or toes or hair or costumes or any other darn thing) might reveal about the watcher. Any audience, seeing dance or art, may find that their most fundamental qualities and characteristics are reflected back at them. People see what they know how to see.
No wonder being a dancer is so hard – you’ve got to seem good at everything.
So what do you watch for? Does that reveal a little about who you are? Maybe next time, I’ll make it a point to watch hands – and learn something. Go visit the Alabama Ballet and pick out your own favorites.
Thanks again to Katy Olsen and the Alabama Ballet.